Are we supposed to be talking to Verizon or to HTC about this problem?
Realistically...both. It's in your best interest to make sure that both entities have your complaint documented. HTC...so they KNOW there's a widespread problem that needs fixed, because they're the ones who ultimatley have to find the solution. Verizon...because they're the ones who sold yu the phone and are obligated to make sure they've provided you wth good functional equipment.
FWIW, I asked Verizon to replace my phone after trying all other fixes (battery pull, hard reset, etc.) They replaced mine with a refurb and I've not had the problem since. I believe I've had the new phone two weeks now, and yes, I did update it to 2.1